#126
Draft of letter from mom likely to The Player
Right now, I can say I understand where you’re at. I can’t be angry for anything you’ve done.
There are some things that you handled poorly, but I understand. We’re only human.
But, at this point, I have to say that in order to still understand & not be angry (at myself or you) I can’t see you so long as you have commitments to someone else.
If & when you feel you can really see me & that maybe we can have something between us, maybe then we can see each other.
At times, I’m still in love w/ you, but they don’t make up for the hurt & frustration I feel all the other times.
Because, I do care for you & we have more water under the bridge (as you’d say). I have tried to be understanding of your treatment of me - because you say you care for me, but it has reached the point of diminishing returns & I’m falling more & more out of love w/ you. So, I can no longer allow it to go on this way. I don’t expect this sort of treatment from a relative stranger, I won’t tolerate it from you.
From everything you say to me, there is no reason we should not see each other more & no reason why you should still be tied down to someone else. However, you say you still love me, you’ve never stopped loving me & you also say you don’t care about me the way I want you to. Well, those two statements don’t jive. If you really care about me, show it & don’t keep me hanging around.
I know I set myself up for it by starting up w/ you again, but I was only doing that because I felt I had been put in will call & still caring, I wanted some answers.
But, you answered most everything when you stood me up & didn’t call for six weeks. Granted, I got out of hand, but I believe I had reason. After that maneuver, I can’t understand why you even bothered after 6 weeks.
I guess that was the turning point. I lost trust in you, I had reason to care less.
If you care enough about someone to change your immediate situation, then it makes one wonder if you changed anything at all if you can say you didn’t follow-thru because they made you angry. That’s pretty one-sided, esp. if you gave them reason to be upset. That’s pretty childish - like saying if they don’t play by your rules, then you’ll pick up your marbles & go home.
That situation was enough to make me see that you might not be worth caring about.
You know I’m not stupid, I’m sure you knew it would come to this. Sooner or later you had to run out of bullshit.
If you really cared, you would be honest & not be afraid to face the consequences of being honest.