#157
To: David W.
From: Joanna
Sunday, Nov 16
Dear David,
Sorry it has taken me so long to write, but like I said over the phone, I have been going thru some very trying emotional changes. Friday I was in one of the worst spaces I have been in in a very long time. It was great talking to you - knowing that you cared and feeling your support. I really needed it. Thanks for making me laugh.
I’m glad that you are going to go ahead with camp, even if it is for only one more year, that is just another summer’s opportunity to reach others for Christ. Maybe you’ll end up with control of the camp after all. I hope that it isn’t too hard on John and that Tricia is okay.
After I hung up with you yesterday, I called Judy and we spoke for a long time and cleared the air. We are now closer than we have been for a couple of months now. I had been very negative and was not very supportive because I didn’t want to approve. But I can’t make her choices for her & she knows well enough that I can’t agree with her but I won’t condemn her. It’s really hard to understand how I feel about all of this. I am just beginning to put things into perspective, sort things out in my head, and understand (Judy, the situation, & myself) a little bit more. I think that the hardest thing has been having to understand myself in this. Anyway, I love her and I worry about her happiness & welfare - and that’s the bottom line.
I found the paper with my reservations on it so here they are: I arrive on Dec 20th on American flight #50 at 3:40 p.m. and I leave on Dec. 28th on Air Canada flight #793 at 5:40 p.m. And this time, I’ll try not to miss my plane!! I won’t be spending as much time as last year, but I’ll be happy to get this much (i hope). Ha Ha! Not really, I wasn’t kidding that if I don’t get this time, I will be giving him my notice shortly after. I have never worked so hard in my life (Their business has tripled since I started there.) My psyche is taking a beating too. I am starting to feel very confined. I knew there was a reason I liked temp work. Now I remember.
I’m glad that you are doing a bit better than you have been in the past month. It seems like it’s been a weird time for both of us! I’m sure things will be better very soon.
I can’t wait to see your new house. It would be fun to help you pick some things for it. I hope that we will have enough time. I hope it snows, too. Even if it doesn’t, I will be happy to see you. Spiritually I feel you are with me & it feels good. Even though I still miss you a great deal. I’m going to say goodnight because it’s getting late & I’ve got a bear of a week ahead of me. I can’t wait to see you at Christmas to help make things clearer between us. I’m looking forward to a wonderful time with you. And finding out more about us, and our possible future together! I’m loving you more and more each day. You are constantly on my mind and thoughts.
Love always,
Joanna
p.s. I can’t believe the Browns lost to Pittsburgh! I’m really peeved!!