#167

To: David W.
From: Joanna

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Saturday, March 8, 1980

Dear David,

I wish I were giving you this birthday gift in person but since that’s not possible, I’m sending it with my love. I had it made for your keyring & I hope you like it.

A while ago I started a letter telling you of the usual things, and again, of how much you mean to me; and then, I received your card. Not sure what it is saying (should I forget you or should I be patient), if anything, I want to say many things but wonder whether silence isn’t the best thing. But part of me won’t let me be silent, because if there is something I can say to help you become less confused, then I must say it. You are totally important to me; and contrary to your statement, I am not “growing out of you.” I will always be here for you and I’ll always be a friend. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on you just by being understanding and patient (because patience signifies waiting for something). While “a relationship” might be what we want, it doesn’t seem to be within your power right now, so maybe if I just leave you with the knowledge of how I feel for you, you can be happier. If this is true, please just tell me so. But, on the other hand, I want to think that even if I continue to be who I am, you will be able to understand yourself and your feelings for me. And, I have no doubt that someday you will know who you are and what or why you do the things you do. David, you are very special. You are the most magnificent man I have ever known, and my love, like you, is pure and true… the only true love I’ve know. I think of you constantly (and always kindly). My heart belongs to you. My thoughts will not let you go and they continue to embrace you and the things you hold dear.

Please don’t run away, but if you must, I will still love you.

I am missing you… and loving you.

Always,
Joanna