#22
To: Joan
From: Sonny
Friday Feb 7th
Dear Joan,
Thank you for your warm letter. It makes me very happy - although it also makes me very sad. Sad because I wasted so much of the time that we had together being a vicious ignoramus. Uptight and out of control most of the time. If (oh if!!) I could only have that time with you all over again...
I'm not angry that you called Mostafe, although I would have liked it better if he didn't know, as now it will be all over Hollywood, and that I didn't want. It will just give people a whole lot of shit to talk about. Oh well, no harm done.
I have to see someone (preferably Tommy) in regards to making arrangements to get out. Tommy can handle it very easily if he'll just get his ass down here to visit me.
I wrote him a threatening letter - in fact I wrote 2 - in which I stated what action I would take if he didn't show soon. You can call him and assure him that I'm not fooling. I know he will probably laugh it off as another of my empty threats, but believe me Joan, without help from him I'm sure to have to do at the minimum three years, and then I have to face a parole violation in the States. I'm not going for it. I'm his responsibility, just as he would be mine if this situation were reversed. I'm tired of carrying all the weight everytime something goes wrong. And this time, I won't.
So, in answer to whether Tommy can visit, I say he must or suffer the consequences.
I'm glad that you've moved in with Diane. I truly love her and I know she will be trying to help in anyway she can. I'm also happy that you've gotten a job and are going to school. By the time you receive this letter you'll have completed 4 classes. Please let me know how you like it. I know you're doing well because you are an extremely talented lady. Hang in there!
If you want to visit and you're worrying about a Mexican Visa, all you have to do is go to a notary public and swear that you are who you say you are, and he will issue you an affidavit so stating, and you'll have no trouble obtaining a visa with this document.
I hate to tell you about this place as it's so fucking depressing. From the outside it looks quite pleasant, if you can ignore the walls, gun towers, and bars. It's quite modern looking, as it was opened only recently (last March) but inside it's a much different story. Since I've been here, we've had no running water. Even when the water is working, (I'm told that for four months last summer there wasn't any water either) it's only cold water. In the summer the temperature reaches 130 degrees quite regularly. At 3 o'clock in the morning the temperature is 100. The local crick (called 'crillo') is carnivorous. I've seen the scars it's left on people's legs, and other parts of the anatomy. There are also other pests, such as scorpions, tarantulas, black widow spiders (these are kept as pets by some of the local populace, and are fed live crillos for dinner)! In addition to those lovely creatures there are also rattlesnakes to contend with.
Right now the situation isn't too bad as there are only about 70 billion flies, and a god-awful stench from the slaughterhouse across the road. Not too pretty a picture, and if you throw in the food, (which is called 'yegua' - freely translated that means female horses cunt - and they're not fooling) you'll have a short synopsis of the local situation. It's fucked!!
Anything that we don't get from the kitchen (the most opulent meal I've seen so far is one hard boiled egg and some tortillas) we have to buy. And I mean everything. Without money, it's almost incredible. Which bring me to my next subject - again, Tommy. I wrote him and asked him to send me money so that I can eat. From what you said it in your letter, it appears that he's ignoring the issue. First of all, he owes me some money from a deal that we did together. Tell that motherfucker that I've already written a letter to the people that came to see me last week. If I don't see him in a week (next weekend) I'm sending it out, and he can go fuck himself.
I haven't been able to write to Joe since I don't have his address. Would you please get in touch with Tommy, and impress upon him the fact that without him I'm stuck, and so, in a fact, is he (Tommy).
When I first came here I gave them your name as being my old lady. I hope you don't mind. I figured that maybe you'd come down and we'd be able to get you in much easier. So if (I hope, I hope!!) you do come down just tell them that we've lived together for a year or so, and you'll be able to get in easily. If anyone else comes down they have to say that they're my cousins.
My lawyer has told me that it shouldn't be much trouble getting me out of here in four or five months (I fear that it will be at least 6 or 7 from all indications) if I have the money. If by some miracle someone comes up with it, please come to see me first before turning any over to him.
Please keep trying to recover my things from the people at Oakwood. I know that I can depend on you Joany. Have I told you lately that I love you? If you make it down here I have a few things to tell you. I don't want to write anything that will be better said in person.
Before I forget I want to ask you not to keep you letters to me in your bag for 3 days before mailing them. I noticed that you wrote the letter on Friday and didn't mail it till Monday. I'm not chastising you, I'm just trying to make you aware of how important they (and you!) are to me.
It occurs to me that I have a little money in my savings account (maybe 50 or 75 dollars, I can't remember) and maybe some in my checking. If you can get it together, maybe you could get me a decent guitar in a hock shop, or somewhere for not much money. Please try to do this as it will really make the time here more bearable. Also, if you happen to get hold of my stuff you could include some books (my chord book, if you can find it).
I also need a couple pair of pants, some shorts, my tennis shoes, etc. We have to wear our own clothes and all I have with me is one pair of jeans and a shirt. Everything else mysteriously disappeared when I was arrested. Anything that I can wear in the dirt and grime will be appreciated.
My sweet, I'm going to sleep now thinking of you. I hope you do this occasionally. Love ---
Sunday ---
Mail doesn't leave here during the weekend, so I've been holding this up. I'm getting ready to go to sleep pretty soon and I thought I would say a few things before passing out.
I've come to the decision that one way or another I have to leave here. I hope it will be the easy way since it will save everybody concerned a lot of hassle. But regardless, feet first or otherwise, I'm leaving.
Whether or not we ever get together again, I want you to know that my love for you is also a very special one. I never been able to see any situation as clearly as I see this one. Believe me, it's not because I'm in jail (I've been here before). I know I feel differently about you. You've taught me many things, and I hope I've been able to grow from them.
I love you very much.
Sonny
PS. My warmest affections to Diane.