#32
To: Joan
From: Sonny
Wednesday May 6th
Dear Joan,
I don't know how this letter is going to turn out as I'm probably in no mood to be writing at this time. But, I've just received your letter and it's my habit to answer immediately. I don't (or at least I'll try not to) intend to sound bitter, but I think you should know what's happening and exactly how things stand at this point.
First of all, things are not moving slowly, and, as a matter of fact, should be all over by the end of this week, or at the latest by Next Monday (May 12th). Last Friday I received my sentence: five years. This turns out of be a fantastic sentence considering I had no attorney to defend me. The sentence makes it possible for me to appeal and have the second court set a bond. There's only one drawback to that, and that is that arrangements have to be made with the D.A. here so he doesn't appeal the sentence, thus making me ineligible for said bond. Obviously, no arrangements have been made and by next Monday I should receive notification from the D.A.s office that my sentence has been appealed. So, the short of it, is that I'm looking a five year sentence square in the eyes.
Now, my beef is not that nobody's done anything except grand stand and run around making sympathetic noises. No, my beef is that I've received letters from Dianne: "Don't worry about nuttin'! We're taking care of business." and Joe: "Things are looking good financially, so I should be able to take care of the tab to get you out." These particular letters are both dated in March, (early part) and really bolstered my spirits. But, apparently my spirits were in for a big shock. I never asked either Joe or Dianne to go out and do those things for me, so I'm appreciative of the phone calls and trouble that they've put themselves thru for me, but since they had offered, I put myself completely in their hands. So here I sit dear Joan, and the thought comes to me that deep down in my subconscious I know all along that I'd be here for the duration, but I insisted on defending myself. Anyway, fuck all this nonsense. It's over, and I'm the one that's to blame.
I'm sorry you never received the letter I wrote in which I told you to disregard the advice Dianne gave you regarding writing to me, as that was really assmine advice. on the other hand, I told you in the same letter that I thought it would be a good idea for you to not travel down her by yourself so she was right in that case. Seeing as nobody has any intentions to travel down here, (not that I blame them.) if you really would care to come down for a visit I could put you in touch with the family of one of the Americans here that manage to make it for a visit maybe once a month. Or, I've had letters from Lee and Janet saying that they would possibly be able to get down here for a visit. Maybe you could come with one of them. I'll have to write them as I told them at the time that we should wait and see what happens as I was (according to Joe and Dianne) on my way home. So, that's how that stands. Let me know how you feel about my suggestions.
Paul never sent anyone to see me, and never will, so forget about that. He's wah-wahing and that's all.
In the past three weeks to Americans and a Mexican have left here on bond. The two Americans had gotten 5 years each, but they made the necessary arrangements with the D.A. and got out. They were each transporting twice the amount that I was, but they had some help from home and got out. On the other hand, there are about 20 guys who, in the past two months have gotten sentences of between 2 and 4.5 years that had a fraction of what I did, but weren't able to take care of the D.A., so were appealed. So it's easy to see the handwriting on the wall, isn't it? By the way, and arrangement with the D.A. runs between 800 & 1600 dollars! Small price for 5 years, huh?
I don't even want to get in to the bullshit about the money. If you'd care to find out for yourself why don't you get in touch with Janet & Lee and see what they have to say. I don't want you to think that I'm trying to come between you and Dianne or Joe, I just want you to be aware of what's what. So here are their numbers in case you're interested: Janet - xxx-xxxx; Lee - xxx-xxxx. In fact, Lee has asked about you in her letters, and I haven't known what to tell her as I heard from you so rarely, and I wrote to Janet asking her to call you and find out if you had been receiving my letters as I didn't know what was going on.
So my dear, that's that on that! I got the money you sent, and considering that you sent cash (I assume!) it's a miracle. When you send money in the future, and I'm not going to tell you not to as I can certainly use it - send a bank (International) money order. Joe has been sending B. of A.
I do love you Joannie, and I really believe you feel the same towards me. I'm looking forward to seeing you as soon as you make it. I should tell you, sweety, that I intend to take the matter of getting out of here into my own hands. July and August are the rainy season here, I imagine I'll wait till then to execute my plan. I hope to god that I have the balls to go ahead, as the prospect of spending the next three years four months here leaves me cold. If you get down here we'll have the chance to go to bed together (I'm assuming you'd want to, of course!). I love sex with you because you make me feel that you really enjoy having sex with me. Is that true?
Well my dear, I'll tell you again that I love you and miss you and want to be with you. Thanks for the money and the lovely letter and book. Could I have a picture next? I'm very sad not having you close to me.
Sonny.
I'll start numbering my letters so you'll be able to know if you're receiving all of them. The number will be on the first page by the date.
I just read your letter again and it makes me a little angry that Dianne told Janet that she had somebody who would put up $10,000 for me to get out of jail, when she can't even get the rent together. And it wasn't the 20 dollars Joe sends me every two or three weeks that Dianne was talking about when she spoke with Janet. She said she was sending 75 dollars a week, and that I was doing just fine. I know Janet wouldn't make up a story like that as, in the 8 years that I've known her, she's never trashed anyone. On the contrary, she's always making excuses for people. I hope you won't go into any of this with Joe or Di, as I really don't blame them. xxxx