#100
Notes from The Player’s collection
Plan of operation for personal finances
Goal
(1) At work to gross $3,000 a month
(2) To find and buy at wholesale a car you can drive and have fun with - then sell at a profit including financing and insurance charges
(3) Follow an investment program with Rich
(4) Apply 10% of monthly income to investment program
(5) Buy all big ticket items on credit, preferably through credit union but also through store plans
(6) Open new credit lines
By Feb 31st net worth of $10,000
Rules:
(1) No more drinking at bars more than once a week unless on business.
(2) Two $20 meals a month unless on business.
(3) No more overdrawing on account until you balance checking and mastercharge
(4) $2,300 is investment equity and cannot be spent on consumption items or furniture or the like. Only on financial investments or on immediately profitable turnover items.
(5) $1,000 to go to finance/investment. 1,300 to remain to be supplanted by salary for auto down payments.
By Dec 31st 1975
Net worth of 50,000
By Dec 31st 1976
Net worth of 150,000
It’s a fantasy - I’m doing my Debi Hank number all over again
I’m going to take a change and guess at the way she’s feeling and blow ehr mind
I need to be more useful in the structure of my d_____
Its heavy - really fucky heavy
Most of Robin I reject
I problems
Only part always
Robin has to _____
Total honesty
Real actions
I think you’re a whore
I think you’ve ______
true insight and control
case of communication
Fuck you Robin
Little women
Little men
All trying so hard
To fulfill that inner _____
Graping for others
Always outward
Very seldom have their druthers
For fucking it
What a groove
There’s always status
To make you move
Beauty
Grace
Seem to get lost
In the chase
To many frustrations
New machinations
To allow for the time
The deprivation
The lack of sensory stimulation
To find the balance
That wines and gives
From week to week
From summer to snow
Clap your hands
And hold your _____
Somday you’ll believe
What wise men know
There’s never a time
When the roller washer ends
And when it _____
You know your _____
Everybody’s wanten little Robin
_____ _____ _____
And body stompin
Ego upper
Fresh little frolip
Please Robin _____ my cock
I don’t really thing that’s what she means
To _____ _____ she
Does do it well
You know when I started
This was going to to be a poem
At this point it’s only and angry drone
Wake in the morn
Put a smile on your face
Cause if you _____
Someone else will take your place
Sonny weather,
Fertile soil,
Make worthwhile,
sweat and boil
Clouds that need
To much dancin
To make them stpill
Take too much chasin
To much time and too
Much work with no guarantee
Of their final worth
Lastly mine
For so short a time
With one smile
Dug into my soul
High sensitivity & beauty & intelligence & youth & ambitionA
A mind fuck for Jay.
Plus an obvious but unusual disdain for status
A rejection of most people
I don’t really know
What I felt that night
I think I tried not to feel
Me at the door
My heart only a sore
My mind _____ from its screams
It hasn’t gotten much better since
What a drag to have a heart of steel
For steel is cold
And sores grow old
And a scab on ice
Aint very nice
And it ain’t very real
And pretty soon you can’t even feel
You just think you can
Basic fact = I reject most people - almost all people = alientation
I can get along with most but don’t love to many. Why should I.
Does that mean that I fear most people?
Is that why I have a Voyeuristic trend?
Dear Debbie,
This is a rather odd time to be wondering - almost…. _____