#38
To: Joan
From: Sonny
July 23, 1975
Dear Joan,
I'm very happy to hear from you, and know that you're alright, although I am getting tired of having you cry on my shoulder about D, and how she's fucking you over. I mean, I only hear from every couple of months (your last letter is dated May 21st) so why should you expect me to want to hear about all your trouble. I have a few of my own, or have you forgotten.
So, if all you have to tell me in your letters are your problems, stop wasting your time and mine. But if you'd care to try and get our relationship together such as it is - or isn't!) then please, please write. I love you very much, and I guess I always will.
In the event that you decided not to continue writing, I would appreciate you sending whatever personal effects you have of mine (I'm sure there's not much) to Dianne Ray. Her address is: Norma Place Los Angeles.
That's it for now. Write me if you care to continue anything we might have had. If I don't hear from you I hope you'll be alright and get your life squared away.
Love,
Sonny
PS. In case you're interested I'm in the hole, and have been for the past 32 days. I tried to escape and was snitched off. That ought to give you some idea of the help I'm receiving from Joe and Dianne ------
And then to top it off, I write and beg you to come down here so you can help me preserve my sanity, and instead of a telegram or at the very least a letter, I get total silence for two months. And now I get a letter saying you love me. Am I fucking crazy or something? Or do you think I'm as gullible as you pretend to be?
I can't figure out what game you're playing, or what reasons you have for playing it, but I'm not into game playing so count me out if that's the story. But, if you're genuinely interested in me get yourself together and act like it.
The next move is yours. You know how I feel so please be fair.
Love you,
Sonny
Part II July 23
If you love me so much why haven't you at least been in touch with a lawyer down here to see what, if anything, you could do for me? So please re-examine your feelings towards me, as I'm quite sure you haven't done lately. If you find that you care for me as you say you do then make me more than just a bi-monthly sop to your conscience.
Please don't think that my feelings are bitter, I'm just confused and want to get squared away. You can help me by being honest with not only me, but yourself as well.
As I said in part 1 of this missing, I love you very much and hope that we can come to a pleasant agreement. If not - have a happy life my sweet.
Love you -
S
On second (or third - or fourth or etc.) asking you to keep up a pretense begins to feel awfully stupid to me. So unless you're ready to offer me some sort of commitment, why don't you just hang it up and find another way to get your sadistic kicks!
The more I think about it the hotter I get. Here I sit wiping my ass with Mexican newspaper (and believe me it's rough!) because I can't afford to buy toilet paper, and have to listen to shit from you about Dianne and how bad she's treating you. Give me a fucking break, please!